Yesterday I put my foot down on many toes and proclaimed loud and clear: “Oh, c’mon you guys. There ain’t any thing as morality for you. Atheism and morality can not go hand in hand.” A plethora of rubbish flew towards my general direction while I ducked under my coffee table. How I managed to squeeze under it is a mystery – one the Darwinians are baffled with. Evolution can’t explain it.
Wincing from the awkward position I told my friends around the table in a squeaky voice, “Your claims of principles fall flat when you come out of the closet,” I popped my head between two of the thick ornate legs of the wooden furniture.
A cushion landed on my head and I retreated quickly to my abode fearing heavier flying objects. “The morality for atheists is not governed by any established system”.
“Aren’t you redefining morality then? What is good and which ones evil can’t go with your absence… in belief of the presence of the err… You-Know-Who” looked around and sceptical eyes glared.
“Your definition of morality is flawed” boomed my most opinionated friend. The earth below me shook. I nodded absently. A yogic position during a tremor was never my favourite. “Our principles of morality are based on empathy or sensitivity towards fellow beings.” While he went on and on about universal law and humanism, I saw that his audience were getting drunk on his catharsis. I sneaked from under the table noting to self: Set big chunk of salary aside to attend Harry Houdini Escapology Workshop next month.
He spoke of human happiness and personal ethics and paramount good and developing the supreme race and the disappearance of ordinary. I cringed at the thought of the extinction of my clan. I shook my sleeping limbs awake and they pierced into my flesh. Walking on needles and pins, I reached the kitchen, placed glasses on a tray and poured drinks into each. Get ‘em scums drunk on their favourite subject. Logic and rationale.
Taking the subject where I had left, I stated, “So according to the interpretations of feelings I can decide my ethics? I interpret that lying about my age will not harm any human. So I can not be penalised for being a liar?”
“Unless it is to fake a passport.” Giggles from the audience at the lame joke attempt.
I asked the rush of counter-arguments to step aside. I told the rush, “We are driving to the infamous absence-in-empathy theory. This flawed argument can be set aside, for the time being.” I handed over the dangerous intoxicating liquid to each unsuspecting fool before I continued.
“Same goes for stealing. I can be Robin Hood and shouldn’t be tried for that. I can marry and yet be with many. Humans are not monogamous as a rule. I can cheat on my spouse if I am helping a widower with some thrills.”
“What baloney are you going on about?”
“I am a psychopath. I am morally challenged because I can not empathise. I can think, speak, read, write and calculate but I don’t feel for anyone except myself. Would you term me amoral or insane just because my degree of selfishness is far greater than anything you can ever comprehend?”
“Your points hold no water. We can not draw parallels for these.”
“We can not because your logic fails to explain. You can try but you shall fail impeccably. I call it a clean failure. Nothing messy. I like clean failures. You never need to clean up.” I had their attention. “Do you believe that you can eradicate immorality? Has the world ever been driven by rationale? Humans are always guided by what they feel against what they know is right and logical and you know that was why the theology came by to set laws based on these. It’s always emotions that win the day, not your intelligence. Logic can’t explain the way you are different from me or why the sun rises from the west.”
“East. The direction of the sun rise can not be changed,” said a scientologist. “What is the east that you call it so? The direction where the sun rises is east. So tomorrow if the sun rises from the west, do you call west east?” I laughed. I could see they were all visibly disturbed.
“The sun would not do that,” said the scientologist meekly, “that would mean the end of the world.”
“And how will you know if it did not already? How will you know that the Milky Way hasn’t turned upside down sometime in the past? What will you base the up or down in a void expanse? What is the up or the down? Is there an up and down? What are directions? Can you know it? Can you a twit of a human sitting here tell what is happening out there with your wonderful calculations and measurements? Don’t you see, you fools, how your supposed facts are based on assumptions to begin with.”
I noticed that the glasses were empty. Time now to really turn their world upside down.
“And what do you base your calculations on? Logic?” They all started and sat up alert. I had to tread stealthily. One wrong move and I knew they’d shoot me down. “You base your reasoning from the education that you know is flawed. They teach you what they want you to know. And even when you believe you’ve grown out of the fallacy that was taught to you, you would refuse to accept that two and two will never make anything other than a measly five!”
I webbed them in their own muddle of logic. They looked at each other trying to fix my distorted rational. Some even calculated two and two on their fingers. Their drunken stupor didn’t help because the poison slowly took effect. Their eyes were glazed and their breathing went shallow.
“Let’s take it slowly” Oh, the irony! I meant the toxin. “Maybe we should begin from what is the ideal moral person? Do you have those benchmarks? Is this codified? Who will make an eternal moral code book to mark the boundaries? When do you know you’ve gone too far? Who’ll decide what had pushed it too much? Use your logic to explain your morality to me!” I laughed again. I shivered myself when I heard the echo.
They died listening to me. At midnight I threw them out of the window and watched the felling of bodies. It was a clean death. Nothing needed to be cleaned up. I suppose the fishes took care of that.
Last night I slept with a clear conscience. I felt no guilt in eliminating a part of the rational race. I cleared the world of some of these logical thinkers. Tomorrow I’ll build a kingdom of people who think less and do more. Do what they want, what they feel like. Won’t question much. Won’t think too much. Ordinary people. As ordinary as you and me. Mediocre. None too intelligent, none too smart, none too strong, none too beautiful. Very very normal.
Am I unethical? My dead friends won’t think so.